What’s your heart’s desire?
How often in life have you used the phrase “heart’s desire”? It’s old-fashioned and it strikes a resounding chord on the emotions. Also for me, what those two words are leading toward is a truth that might feel pretty tender and want protecting. Certainly I would never talk to someone about my heart’s desire in a grocery store lineup.
But wow, is it ever accurate! “It’s my heart’s desire to…”
It’s a wistful phrase. Obviously, it would take a certain magic to make this special thing happen.
Recently when my daughter asked for my assistance in planning her new garden. I drew a breath of pure sparkly delight. My garden has been so long established I don’t get to buy new plants anymore, which is half the fun.
My daughter and her family had just moved and were allowed to plant their own private back yard, 4 1/2 feet by 11 1/2 feet long. It was bare ground. Some morning glories were poking through; obviously the space had just been weeded.
.The space is east-facing. Translation: a bit of morning sun. My daughter sent me pictures. This was going to be a shade garden.
“Can I have a lilac?” she asked.
“Sadly no,” I said. “Lilacs really want sun.”
We talked about what she wanted from the garden.
“An oasis,” she said.
I nodded. “We can do oasis. Absolutely!”
My daughter’s garden was going to be key in making the bottom floor of their new place feel serene for her and her family; their eating area faces directly out onto that space. A sidewalk leads to the garage and an enclosure for a garbage can.
There’s a tiny patio, a trellis and a wooden fence that was obviously calling out for a vine. These were bonuses.
Over the next few days, I noodled with my old plant books. Made some lists. Texted my daughter some ideas. Chatted with my dear friend in Victoria who’s a landscape architect and has designed three gardens for me. She is the only person in the world I can talk Latin plant names with.
A few days into the process, my daughter FaceTimed and said, “It’s my heart’s desire to have a Japanese maple. Can I have a maple?”
This stopped me for a couple of reasons. My daughter doesn’t usually speak like this. Also there was so much emotion bound up with her trequest hat I got all choked up at the intensity. Thank goodness this could be a yes.
“You absolutely can have a Japanese maple! They’re understory trees. One will be perfect at the end of your garden. It will hide that bit of roof you can see beyond the garbage enclosure. “
My daughter sighed with relief. “Oh good.”
“And Mom, can it have some red on the leaves?”
It turned out what my daughter wanted was the same kind of Japanese maple that I had planted in a garden of her childhood when we lived in Comox, an Acer palmatum‘Osakasuzi.’
Then I got why this particular plant was so important to her. Why it was her heart’s desire: it was connecting the past with right now and it was reaching toward healing in a very difficult and painful family situation she was dealing with. This was why her voice had almost broken when she asked me about a Japanese maple.
My landscape architect pal suggested that an Osakasuzi might grow a little big for its situation. But there are many other beautiful kinds of Japanese maples. We settled on acer palmatum ‘Fascination’ that made my daughter’s heart flutter in just the right way. Starts off green, then develops some red.
Via FaceTime, my daughter ported me into three different nurseries. What a delight! Even in the pouring rain, though I worried we’d wreck her phone. My almost-four-year old granddaughter danced in the downpour.
It was lovely to see how, given a few choices, my daughter was very clear which plants made her feel happy and which she thought were ugly. (Sorry, ajuga, I agreed.) Sweet woodruff, Galium odoratum, was challenging to find. It was the first groundcover on my list, and then when my daughter finally found some, was also her choice. Goodbye Corsican mint, aka Mentha requienii. Sweet woodruff has the happy vibe.
We couldn’t get everything on our list but we got some beautiful plants, and come fall, it will be easy to fold in some primo hellebores that my daughter flagged as something she really wants.
Some heart’s desires are easier to achieve than others.
Are you willing to share some heart’s desire of yours? Love to hear!
Marlet, thank you. I feel in this world we're all just reaching for comfort at this point. I find so much solace in my garden and being outdoors.
Thanks, Honor! Oh yes, the gardening at one and and two years will be maturing toward the oasis that Jocelyn was wanting! And thank you on the granddaughter congrats, I love it that my granddaughter Luisa was able to be part of this process.